The Ministry of Angels

Ashtyn has been back in her room from the pediatric ICU for 36 hours.  She looks good.  She feels good.  From now on I will constantly be on high alert with her.  My eyes are more wide open for when her body does something out of the ordinary.  My heart is more open to when I feel things aren’t quite right.  Since leaving the ICU, her heart rate is lower than it was before.  A week ago her heart rate was 70 to 100 beats per minute when awake and 60 when asleep.  Now when she is awake her heart rate is 60 and 45 to 50 when she is sleeping.  There really is no explanation to why her heart rate is lower and no one seems that concerned.  However, I am now uneasy about anything that may seem abnormal.  Sunday night I couldn’t go to sleep until they did something, so she had an EKG which showed her rhythm is normal.  In the morning I will ask if a heart ultrasound can be done just to make sure her heart is pumping blood properly.  If her heart looks normal then I will rest assured that her low heart rate is fine.  Other than that, Ashtyn has been doing well.

In the past two months Ashtyn has had moments when her health is stable and other moments when she has been extremely sick.  I have always felt that mortal and heavenly angels are intertwined on this earth going about doing good.  Ashtyn and I have felt help from both sides working to build us up.  It seems when she is stable, Ashtyn’s Army and her earthly angels care for her with prayers, messages, visits, food, gifts, and love in many forms.  When she has been extremely sick and there’s nothing we can do for her except pray, I have felt heavenly angels take over.

Moroni 7:29-30 says, “my beloved brethren, have miracles ceased?  Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither have angels ceased to minister unto the children of men. For behold, they are subject unto him, to minister according to the word of his command, showing themselves unto them of strong faith and a firm mind in every form of godliness.”

On February 17th, during a time when Ashtyn was extremely sick, I published a post called “On the Bright Side.”  I wrote, “with the most humble and sure voice Ashtyn has told me about her Great Grandma Holt who just passed away in November from lung cancer.  I don’t feel my grandma near but Ashtyn does.  Ashtyn and I have had a few short conversations in the last 2 days about Grandma’s visits.  Ashtyn isn’t able to talk much and when she does it is in short, quiet sentences but this is a summary of what she has told me:  ‘Yesterday Grandma Holt talked to me a lot.  But not very much today.  I just know that it’s her.  She talks in my ear.  She told me that everything is going to be OK.  She told me to have faith.  She told me to focus on today, hope for a better tomorrow, and know that God has my back.  She told me that I am strong.  She told me not to listen to what people are saying in my room because no one knows what my body can do like I do.’”

Elder Holland said, “from the beginning down through the dispensations, God has used angels as His emissaries in conveying love and concern for His children.  Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near. Sometimes their assignments are very grand and have significance for the whole world. Sometimes the messages are more private. Occasionally the angelic purpose is to warn. But most often it is to comfort, to provide some form of merciful attention, and guidance in difficult times.”

In my last post I mentioned when Ashtyn was “coding” and gained consciousness, the first thing she did was looked to the empty corner and said, “Grandma!”  In the post I didn’t expound because Ashtyn said nothing else about it and there wasn’t anything else I needed to say.  The next day, Saturday, I asked Ashtyn if she remembered calling out Grandma’s name.  She didn’t remember anything about it.

By Saturday night Ashtyn was stable and feeling fine in the PICU.  She was completely awake and alert.  The only medications being given were antibiotics.  She hadn’t had narcotics for weeks and was off anti-nausea medications as well.  The plan was to keep her overnight in the PICU and send her to the floor in the morning.

At 5 am Sunday morning, Ashtyn woke me up so I could help her to the restroom.  She was hooked up to monitors.  The easiest thing for her to do was use a bedside toilet.  Afterwards she got back in bed and laid down as I quickly used the restroom in her room.  I was gone for maybe 30 seconds.  When I opened the bathroom door to come out Ashtyn exclaimed with an intense voice, “Mom! I just saw Grandma!”  I tried to act cool and calm though for some reason the idea of seeing angels has always scared me.  I sat on the bed next to her as she explained what happened.  “I was looking around the room waiting for you to get out of the bathroom and I just saw her over there to the left of the computer.  She was beautiful and glowed.  She was wearing a white dress with ruffles at the top.  She was healthier and happier.  Mom, it was so clear.  She smiled and waved to me.  I smiled back.  It was a nervous smile because I was shocked to see her.  And then she faded.  I think she is really busy but wanted to let me know she is watching out for me.  I am really happy I got to see her.”

Elder Holland said, “He (God) watched over His mortal family constantly, heard their prayers always, and sent prophets (and later apostles) to teach, counsel, and guide them.  But in times of special need, He sent angels, divine messengers, to bless His children, reassure them that heaven was always very close and that His help was always very near.  I testify that angels are still sent to help us, even as they were sent to help Adam and Eve, to help the prophets, and indeed to help the Savior of the world Himself.”


6 responses to “The Ministry of Angels”

  1. Wow. I loved reading about Ashtyn’s experience with her great grandmother! I know the veil is thin, but what a comfort to be actually be able to see her! Ashtyn, be so grateful (I’m sure you are) for this amazing experience!! Prayers and love to you and your great family.

    Joy Strong

  2. I think of Ashtyn often. Your post today touches me so much. I was 12 when my 8 yr-old brother died from leukemia. It’s amazing to know that now it’s very treatable & some of the medications used were just experimental back in ’79. I’m not posting to make you sad or anxious, but to give you a bit of background. I was 12 when he died so most of what I’m sharing came from my Mama. No blogs back then so I gotta go by memories.
    The times when Brian was home were special. He slept in my parents room (I think they put a twin bed in the room). Mama would tell of many times when heavenly angels had come to Brian. I remember she said they woke to Brian looking around the room and he kept saying hi. At first they answered, but then realized he wasn’t talking to them. He’d tell us that Grandpa had come to visit as well as a time when Grandpa & Uncle Bud were telling him they had to go to a nearby small town & take care of some problem going on at church (come to find out later there really was something happening in the ward there). Even on his last day with us when we tried to get him to rest, he got so mad at us & told us that he couldn’t b/c they weren’t there for him yet. Having grown up in the church and,in it’s most basic form, we knew he would be reunited with those who had gone before. However, it was nice to know that during his treatment there were many heavenly angels with him during the hard times and so comforting to know that he would not have to go alone at the end.
    I hope that sharing my story hasn’t been upsetting – it was not my intention. Thank you for sharing these special & almost sacred experiences.

  3. Love the post! I believe that Angels walk the halls of every hospital! Glad that Ashtyn is feeling better. Prayers are with you and hope that you can go home for Easter! Love you sweet Ashtyn!

  4. I am so happy that Ashtyn is doing better and is feeling the same. I am glad the side effects aren’t as bad as they were last time and sometimes ou just need to let our Heavenly Father take over and guide you through it just like he did with Jesus in the garden of gesthsemanie.(don’t know if I spelled that right because its a hard word to spell) always remember Jesus felt every paing for us and feels what you are going through. Hang in there Ashtyn! I pray for you every day and night!

  5. Hey Ashtyn,
    Hang in there! You have been. Rey strong through out this whole journey. I have never lost faith in you! I still pray for you night and day! Feel better soon!