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coping
On February 1st, two days after Ashtyn was hospitalized, I received a message from Brady, whose daughter Millie was on the same floor. “Suzanne, I’m very sorry to hear about Ashtyn. While I’m no expert, we’ve been dealing with this now for over three years, so I can give some advice on how to deal…
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Second Trip to the ICU
On March 15th, Ashtyn was devastated to go back to the hospital after only being home for four days. “Why do I have to be here? Why can’t I do the chemo at home? I feel fine!” Every day Ashtyn asked when she could go home. I explained, “You need to be in the hospital…
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The Ministry of Angels
Ashtyn has been back in her room from the pediatric ICU for 36 hours. She looks good. She feels good. From now on I will constantly be on high alert with her. My eyes are more wide open for when her body does something out of the ordinary. My heart is more open to when…
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To Clarify
I knew nothing about cancer before Ashtyn’s diagnosis. I mean nothing. After two months I am no where near an expert on leukemia. The only things I know are from whatI’veseen and learned from staff around me. I don’t research or read books, web pages, articles, or literature of any kind about cancer. I don’t…
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Easter Miracle
After Ashtyn’s cancer cells didn’t respond to the hideous first round of intense chemo in February, I believed the cancer wouldn’t be killed with the second round of chemo either. The second round included less intense drugs and up to this point, she had done everything the difficult way. I simply didn’t think the A.L.L…
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Hindsight is 20/20 and I Like What I See
A month ago, on March 3rd, I wrote a post titled “Faith.” In it I wrote, “when I first heard that Ashtyn had cancer some thoughts came to my mind. ‘Suzanne, this isn’t yours. God is the orchestrator. Hand it over to Him.’ Gladly. I instantly handed over my daughter to God knowing He was completely aware…
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Just Another Day
After Ashtyn’s second trip to the ICU exactly two weeks ago, I wrote, “from now on I will constantly be on high alert with her. My eyes are more wide open for when her body does something out of the ordinary. My heart is more open to when I feel things aren’t quite right.” That…
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Ashtyn’s Dreaming About Food
From Ashtyn: Friday afternoon I got back from the PICU. I was starving but the doctors said that it would be best not to eat or drink for about a week. I was very upset and I thought I couldn’t handle not eating for that long. I picked up my phone and texted my Uncle…
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Progress
It’s 2:25 a.m. on Tuesday morning. I am sitting on Ashtyn’s comfortable electric blue square chair with my feet resting on my couch bed with a blanket over my legs and a pillow behind my head. Ashtyn is in her hospital bed, with the head of the bed elevated, in her PJ’s, pillows positioned perfectly,…
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Update coming soon
I am so excited to update you on Ashtyn’s time at home. She has been home for five days! The interruptions to write a blog post have been constant during the day. At night I haven’t been able to keep my eyes open long enough to share with you all I want to share. I…