Month: May 2013

  • From Ashtyn

    I was really in a funk. I was sad and depressed. I was wasted. I was empty. Totally drained. The past few months took all my fight in me. I didn’t have the urge to keep fighting anymore. I was tired of fighting. Tired of spending time at the hospital. Tired of being sick. Tired…

  • Mind Over Matter

    I had a short lecture with Ashtyn in the hospital when she woke up Monday. “When Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling and sculpted David, he had a vision of what he wanted it to look like. He knew what it was going to look like before he even started. Ashtyn, you need to have…

  • Emotionally Spent

    Here are some statistics: It has been 116 days since Ashtyn was diagnosed with leukemia. She has spent 77 days and nights in the hospital as an inpatient. She has spent 39 days at home. Of the 39 days at home, 12 were spent at the hospital for doctor’s visits and other procedures. A total…

  • Roll With the Punches

    In the post “Opposition Is Not a Bad Thing” I wrote, “In life and in cancer I have learned to ‘just go with it.’ I have to plan for the future and then roll with the punches as they come, adjust plans, adapt to the unexpected, embrace change, and face head on whatever life brings.…

  • Post-Op

    I would say for the two days following surgery, Ashtyn has felt lousy.  She is given Morphine and Oxycodone to help with her abdominal pain.  She  spends her day in bed moving as little as possible.  Of course it is the most painful when she has to walk.  Every three hours she gets out of…

  • Surgery Day

    Gallstones are relatively uncommon in children and are not normally seen as a side effect of cancer or chemotherapy. We will never know what caused Ashtyn to get gallstones. Gallstones are small, stone-like objects that form when the liquid in the gallbladder hardens. Ashtyn’s gallbladder had quite a few stones stored. Stones in the gallbladder…

  • The Hospital Is Our Second Home

    A couple of days ago, in the afternoon of May 16th, Ashtyn threw up after eating a small lunch… a pretzel with cheese dip. I thought it was odd. She had not thrown up or been nauseated since February when she was extremely sick with mucositis. Thankfully, her stomach has tolerated chemotherapy quite well. I…

  • The Siblings Side

    CHANDLER (14 years old): When my mom and Ashtyn are in the hospital, I don’t get to see them as much. I don’t like it. It feels like there is an emptiness. It feels different. You can tell someone’s not there. The family’s not whole. Sometimes I can tell a difference even when I’m not thinking about…

  • On The Doorstep

    Ashtyn has been home for almost five weeks and it has been wonderful. I can’t complain. It has been quite uneventful. What does she do all day? Normally, she doesn’t do much. She sleeps in, eats lunch, and relaxes in bed. In the evening she’ll usually sit on the couch and watch a few episodes of Chopped.…

  • Ashtyn Goes To School

    Saturday, Ashtyn and I had a peaceful night of sleep in the hospital. By 4 a.m. it was time to turn off the lights. I laid next to Ashtyn in her bed and fell asleep listening to her talk about the peace she feels in the hospital. “There is a spirit here that is stronger…